Real Life Wedding Planning

Can you plan a wedding in 9 days?  Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom did but they had help from friends, professionals, a lot of money, and the E! television network.

Here are some of the details of their wedding September 27 wedding  and how you may be able to adopt them to your own:

Custom Wedding Gown by Vera Wang

Khloe wore an ivory strapless gown with a jeweled lavender sash that designer Vera Wang made in one week, it usually takes two months.  Wang is a family friend so she was willing to do it.

If you need a dress quickly, check bridal shops for sales of floor samples that can be quickly altered, shop regular department stores for white or ivory gowns or visit vintage clothing stores for previously worn wedding dresses.  If you decide to buy online, be sure you allow enough time to get the dress shipped to you and altered in case it does not fit you properly.

Attendant Dresses Varied

Khloe’s attendants wore gowns of various shades of purple, as did her mother.  The styles differed also, three were strapless, three were halter, and her two younger sisters wore mini dresses with balloon hems.  Her flower girl wore ivory with a lavender sash.

All attendant dresses do not have to be the same and actually, if you are doing a last minute wedding, it’s easiest if you don’t have to find identical dresses.  You can select styles and tones of the same color according to what looks best on each person.

Joint Maids of Honor

Two of Khloe’s sisters were maid of honor, something you can do if you have two sisters or two close friends.  She had other attendents also.

Venue

The wedding took place at the home of a family friend.

If you need a quick place for your wedding and don’t want to fly to Vegas or go to City Hall,  your home or the home or garden of a friend or family member is an excellent place to get married.  You can find officiants who are willing to perform a ceremony.  Make sure you can get your marriage license quickly and complete your pre-nuptial agreements, if needed, before you desired date. (Some gossip columns say Khloe and Lamar didn’t legally get married, they did a wedding for the cameras only since, reportedly, their pre-nups haven’t been finalized.)

Flowers

Weddings flowers were white roses, calla lilies and hydrangeas.  Attendants’ hand-ties bouquets were of white roses, Khloe’s also included lilies of the valley and stephanotis.

Use in-season flowers for the lowest cost and fastest delivery.

She Used a Wedding Planner

If you want to do a last minute wedding and need to involve caterers, florists, musicians, etc., it’s best to hire a professional wedding planner who has good relationships with a variety of vendors who can help you pull off something spectacular in a short amount of time.

The weddng will be the November 8 episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians on the E! television network.  Photos of the wedding are in the October 12, 2009 issue of OK! Magazine.

Don’t wait until the last minute to buy gifts for your bridesmaids.  Here are some questions you should ask yourself when shopping for your gifts:

• How much do you want to spend?  The cost of attendant gifts should be in your wedding budget.
• Do you want to give them something to use on your wedding day, such as jewelry, something for them to use later, such as a picture frame, or do you want to give an experience, such as a spa day?
• Do you want to give identical gifts or will you try to match each person’s personality?  Make sure gifts are of equal value.

Personalized items with the name or monogram of the recipient are thoughtful, but plan ahead and order them well in advance so you don’t pay rush charges.  The current, Fall/Winter 2009,  issue of Town & Country Weddings magazine gives ideas for personalized items such as a jewelry holder, bottle stopper, and crystal coaster.  The items they feature are pricey ( a set of 100 hand-engraved note cards and envelopes starts at $1240) but you can find similar items (see above) at lower prices on the Internet and at stationery and gift stores.

A friend was telling me about a wedding she attended this past weekend.  Her boyfriend was the best man so they arrived at the venue early.  She walked into the bride’s “Ready Room” to find the bride and her eight  attendants struggling to do their own hair.  They had not hired a hairstylist because the mother-of-the-bride had planned to do their hair for them and didn’t get around to it.  Lucky for them, my friend is a skilled hairstylist and a nice person.  She spent two hours getting the women ready for the ceremony.

Are you planning to give your mother a task to do at the wedding?  Best to make other plans.  Her role actually is to be the hostess for the wedding, not to handle details such as helping  the bridal party get ready for the ceremony.  Even if she volunteers to help, keep responsibilities light.  When your wedding day comes along, she will want to spend time enjoying the the day with you and your groom.

An important factor in the selection of your venue is the type of  food service you want at your reception.  To help you choose, here are some of the more popular types of wedding food service:

Buffet – food is displayed on long tables in one area of the reception room for guests to help themselves.  Or, you can incorporate themed food stations and carving stations throughout the reception room so guests can mingle.  Many people think buffet service is less expensive than a served meal but this is not necessarily true.  More food is ordered in order to compensate for not knowing how much food people might pile on their plates.  Buffets can be breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner.

Sit-down, served meal – wait staff brings plated food out from the kitchen and serves your seated guests.  The later it is in the day, the more formal the service is.  This can be breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner.

If you do not want to serve an entire meal, consider these options:

Afternoon tea – an informal afternoon reception with light sandwiches and pastries served on silver platters and china.  Tea is poured by servers. (Not too popular with men since they usually prefer more substanial types of food.)

Cocktail or Appetizer Reception – late afternoon reception with hors d’oeuvres at food stations or “butlered”, meaning passed by servers.   More expensive items are usually the ones that are “butlered.”

Dessert Reception – done after the dinner hour.  A variety of desserts are set up buffet-style and served with gourmet coffees and after-dinner drinks.  The wedding cake is one of the desserts.

Once you know your budget, number of guests, and type of food service you want, you can select a venue that can accommodate the layout of tables and chairs.  For example, if you want buffet service, the room would need to be large enough for buffet tables, a line or two of people leading up to the buffet, the tables and chairs needed for you and all of your guests, a cake table, a dance floor, and your DJ or musicians.  Work with your wedding planner, venue manager, or caterer to determine your needs.

Are you planning a “Green Wedding?”  Many couples today seeking simple weddings that protect and preserve our environment. The Live Green, Live Smart Institute has tips on their website for “greening” your wedding.

Here are a few of their suggestions:

• Use a wedding planner who specializes in green weddings
• Use recycled paper with soy inks or email for announcements and invitations
• Wear borrowed or vintage wedding attire
• Use locally grown, organic flowers
• Select a location that is within 40 miles of your home and that of the majority of your guests
• Take advantage of natural light and hold your wedding during daylight hours
• Use venues that are certified green or that reduce water and electric consumption, recycle, and do not use poisonous pesticides and fertilizers on their grounds

The website also allows you to complete a green wedding certification program which earns you the right to use the International Green Wedding logo on anything related to your wedding.  Then all of your family and friends will know about your commitment to the environment.

Thinking about running off to Las Vegas to get married?  “Sin City” has always attracted couples looking for quick, last minute weddings that may be a little off-beat.  And although today you can still get a $300 “Drive Thru” wedding, you can also have everything from a fairly traditional ceremony at a moderate price, to an elegant wedding at one of the luxury hotels for around $24, 000 – and that doesn’t include a reception.

Advantages of a Las Vegas Wedding

• You don’t have to plan ahead of time.  If you want a particular venue, you’ll need to book in advance.  But, if you aren’t picky, you can quickly get a license at the Clark County Marriage License Bureau with an ID, Social Security number, and proof of divorce, or death of spouse (if this will not be your first marriage), then head to the wedding venue of your choice.
• Most venues have wedding packages in which all details are handled for you, such as the officiant, photographer, videographer, flowers, so you don’t have to handle details yourself.
• As you read above, Las Vegas weddings come in a variety or prices and you can easily find one that suits your budget.

Disadvantages of a Las Vegas Wedding

• You might get the feeling that you you are part of an assembly line.  Most venues schedule weddings back-to-back and you only get a finite amount of time to have your ceremony before you are ushered out to make room for the next appointment.
• The wedding packages are convenient but if there are particular details you wanted to have to personalize your wedding, you will need to make arrangements in advance and see if they can accommodate you, usually at an additional cost.
• You must be prepared that when you tell people that you got married in Las Vegas, they will automatically envision you being married by an Elvis impersonator and make a joke.  I know this from personal experience!  My late husband and I got married at the Flamingo Hilton and people always ask me if we were married by Elvis even though we had a lovely ceremony officiated by a local Las Vegas pastor.

There are many websites that feature hotels and wedding chapels that cater to couples who want to get married in Las Vegas, take some time checking out the options and call to ask questions.  As with any service you decide to purchase, make sure you read the contract carefully and know exactly what is included in the price before signing on the dotted line and making a deposit.

While you making all of the plans for your wedding, please don’t forget to plan an event for your bridesmaids.  This was traditionally a luncheon held on the day of the wedding but with all the stress of the big day, most brides now hold it as soon as all of their attendants have gotten into town.  And, it doesn’t have to be a luncheon, you can have a breakfast, brunch, tea, or dinner instead.

Who to Invite

Your maid and/or matron of honor, bridesmaids, flower girls with their mothers, your mother (who may help you host) and your fiance’s mother.  You can also invite other female relatives; grandmothers, aunts, and sisters, and the women who hosted your showers.

Where to Have It

Your home, your mother’s home, restaurant, country club, spa, tearoom, or outdoors at a park or beach.  It’s up to you and your style.

Show Your Appreciation

Offer a toast to your attendants and thank them for helping you with your wedding.  This is also the time to give your attendants their gifts.

The Charm Cake

It’s tradition that a charm cake is served at the end of the meal.  Silver charms with symbolic meanings are attached to satin ribbons and placed between the layers of the cake or under the cake.  Each maid and matron of honor and bridesmaid gets to pull a ribbon and get a charm.  The she is told the symbolic meaning of the charms.  For instance, an airplane charm can mean adventure and an engagement ring can mean that she will be the next to marry.  You can find charms at wedding favor websites or specialized wedding cake charm sites.  Be sure you give your baker the charms when you order the cake so they can be added when they frost your cake.

The other day I heard that a bride called her caterer a week before her wedding only to discover the number had been disconnected, the caterer had gone out of business.  Unfortunately, this has been happening recently.  With the recession, people are spending less and many small businesses have suffered because of it.

Here are somethings you can do to protect yourself from disappointment:

• Interview your vendors carefully, take the time to know how they do business.  If you get a feeling that something might go wrong, trust your instinct and find someone else.

• Keep in touch with your vendors, don’t wait until the week before your wedding to confirm an order that you made six months ago.

• Make sure your contracts spell out what would happen to your deposits and orders if  they do not fulfill their contract (see previous post).

• If you purchase wedding insurance, make sure it protects you in the event a vendor goes out of business.

• If you charge your deposits to a credit card, ask your card company if they would refund your money if you have a dispute that involves a company that goes out of business.

I was in my dentist’s office the other day getting my 6 month check-up.  In his waiting room were issues of magazines that were all about teeth, they was published for patients to read in a dentist’s waiting room.  The “wedding issue” caught my eye.  It reviewed the various different treatments that brides often request before the wedding day so they can smile comfortably in their photos.  Procedures include teeth whitening, veneers, braces and tooth implants.  You can a read shorter version of the magazine, Dear Doctor, on their website.

If you are considering doing anything more to your teeth other than cleaning and whitening, allow plenty of time for the procedures to take place.  Tooth implants take several months to complete and braces may need to be worn a year or more before they can be removed.

If your smile is a concern, speak to your dentist t as soon as you get engaged so you are sure to have the smile you want on your wedding day.

There was another celebrity wedding this past weekend.  Actress Milla Jovovich, in the Long Muse wedding dress from the Temperley London’s Bridal Collection, married director Paul W. S. Anderson in the backyard of their Spanish-style home in Beverley Hills on Saturday, August 22, 2009.

Here are some ideas you can steal:

• As with many outdoor celebrity weddings I’ve blogged about, the aisle was scattered with flower petals, this time the petals were white
• Floral arrangements were red and white (if the idea of red at your wedding doesn’t seem right, remember there are many shades of red, you can find flowers in deep reds and maroons which would work well for a Autumn wedding)
• The music at the pool-side pre-reception party, was traditional Spanich music provided by a Spanish guitarist and a female vocalist (a DJ could also provide Spanish guitar music at your pre-reception or reception)
• Reception music included Cuban drums (if you want live music and are not sure where to find musicians, check with local talent agencies)