Real Life Wedding Planning

Don’t wait until the last minute to buy gifts for your bridesmaids.  Here are some questions you should ask yourself when shopping for your gifts:

• How much do you want to spend?  The cost of attendant gifts should be in your wedding budget.
• Do you want to give them something to use on your wedding day, such as jewelry, something for them to use later, such as a picture frame, or do you want to give an experience, such as a spa day?
• Do you want to give identical gifts or will you try to match each person’s personality?  Make sure gifts are of equal value.

Personalized items with the name or monogram of the recipient are thoughtful, but plan ahead and order them well in advance so you don’t pay rush charges.  The current, Fall/Winter 2009,  issue of Town & Country Weddings magazine gives ideas for personalized items such as a jewelry holder, bottle stopper, and crystal coaster.  The items they feature are pricey ( a set of 100 hand-engraved note cards and envelopes starts at $1240) but you can find similar items (see above) at lower prices on the Internet and at stationery and gift stores.

A friend was telling me about a wedding she attended this past weekend.  Her boyfriend was the best man so they arrived at the venue early.  She walked into the bride’s “Ready Room” to find the bride and her eight  attendants struggling to do their own hair.  They had not hired a hairstylist because the mother-of-the-bride had planned to do their hair for them and didn’t get around to it.  Lucky for them, my friend is a skilled hairstylist and a nice person.  She spent two hours getting the women ready for the ceremony.

Are you planning to give your mother a task to do at the wedding?  Best to make other plans.  Her role actually is to be the hostess for the wedding, not to handle details such as helping  the bridal party get ready for the ceremony.  Even if she volunteers to help, keep responsibilities light.  When your wedding day comes along, she will want to spend time enjoying the the day with you and your groom.

An important factor in the selection of your venue is the type of  food service you want at your reception.  To help you choose, here are some of the more popular types of wedding food service:

Buffet – food is displayed on long tables in one area of the reception room for guests to help themselves.  Or, you can incorporate themed food stations and carving stations throughout the reception room so guests can mingle.  Many people think buffet service is less expensive than a served meal but this is not necessarily true.  More food is ordered in order to compensate for not knowing how much food people might pile on their plates.  Buffets can be breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner.

Sit-down, served meal – wait staff brings plated food out from the kitchen and serves your seated guests.  The later it is in the day, the more formal the service is.  This can be breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner.

If you do not want to serve an entire meal, consider these options:

Afternoon tea – an informal afternoon reception with light sandwiches and pastries served on silver platters and china.  Tea is poured by servers. (Not too popular with men since they usually prefer more substanial types of food.)

Cocktail or Appetizer Reception – late afternoon reception with hors d’oeuvres at food stations or “butlered”, meaning passed by servers.   More expensive items are usually the ones that are “butlered.”

Dessert Reception – done after the dinner hour.  A variety of desserts are set up buffet-style and served with gourmet coffees and after-dinner drinks.  The wedding cake is one of the desserts.

Once you know your budget, number of guests, and type of food service you want, you can select a venue that can accommodate the layout of tables and chairs.  For example, if you want buffet service, the room would need to be large enough for buffet tables, a line or two of people leading up to the buffet, the tables and chairs needed for you and all of your guests, a cake table, a dance floor, and your DJ or musicians.  Work with your wedding planner, venue manager, or caterer to determine your needs.

Are you planning a “Green Wedding?”  Many couples today seeking simple weddings that protect and preserve our environment. The Live Green, Live Smart Institute has tips on their website for “greening” your wedding.

Here are a few of their suggestions:

• Use a wedding planner who specializes in green weddings
• Use recycled paper with soy inks or email for announcements and invitations
• Wear borrowed or vintage wedding attire
• Use locally grown, organic flowers
• Select a location that is within 40 miles of your home and that of the majority of your guests
• Take advantage of natural light and hold your wedding during daylight hours
• Use venues that are certified green or that reduce water and electric consumption, recycle, and do not use poisonous pesticides and fertilizers on their grounds

The website also allows you to complete a green wedding certification program which earns you the right to use the International Green Wedding logo on anything related to your wedding.  Then all of your family and friends will know about your commitment to the environment.

Thinking about running off to Las Vegas to get married?  “Sin City” has always attracted couples looking for quick, last minute weddings that may be a little off-beat.  And although today you can still get a $300 “Drive Thru” wedding, you can also have everything from a fairly traditional ceremony at a moderate price, to an elegant wedding at one of the luxury hotels for around $24, 000 – and that doesn’t include a reception.

Advantages of a Las Vegas Wedding

• You don’t have to plan ahead of time.  If you want a particular venue, you’ll need to book in advance.  But, if you aren’t picky, you can quickly get a license at the Clark County Marriage License Bureau with an ID, Social Security number, and proof of divorce, or death of spouse (if this will not be your first marriage), then head to the wedding venue of your choice.
• Most venues have wedding packages in which all details are handled for you, such as the officiant, photographer, videographer, flowers, so you don’t have to handle details yourself.
• As you read above, Las Vegas weddings come in a variety or prices and you can easily find one that suits your budget.

Disadvantages of a Las Vegas Wedding

• You might get the feeling that you you are part of an assembly line.  Most venues schedule weddings back-to-back and you only get a finite amount of time to have your ceremony before you are ushered out to make room for the next appointment.
• The wedding packages are convenient but if there are particular details you wanted to have to personalize your wedding, you will need to make arrangements in advance and see if they can accommodate you, usually at an additional cost.
• You must be prepared that when you tell people that you got married in Las Vegas, they will automatically envision you being married by an Elvis impersonator and make a joke.  I know this from personal experience!  My late husband and I got married at the Flamingo Hilton and people always ask me if we were married by Elvis even though we had a lovely ceremony officiated by a local Las Vegas pastor.

There are many websites that feature hotels and wedding chapels that cater to couples who want to get married in Las Vegas, take some time checking out the options and call to ask questions.  As with any service you decide to purchase, make sure you read the contract carefully and know exactly what is included in the price before signing on the dotted line and making a deposit.

While you making all of the plans for your wedding, please don’t forget to plan an event for your bridesmaids.  This was traditionally a luncheon held on the day of the wedding but with all the stress of the big day, most brides now hold it as soon as all of their attendants have gotten into town.  And, it doesn’t have to be a luncheon, you can have a breakfast, brunch, tea, or dinner instead.

Who to Invite

Your maid and/or matron of honor, bridesmaids, flower girls with their mothers, your mother (who may help you host) and your fiance’s mother.  You can also invite other female relatives; grandmothers, aunts, and sisters, and the women who hosted your showers.

Where to Have It

Your home, your mother’s home, restaurant, country club, spa, tearoom, or outdoors at a park or beach.  It’s up to you and your style.

Show Your Appreciation

Offer a toast to your attendants and thank them for helping you with your wedding.  This is also the time to give your attendants their gifts.

The Charm Cake

It’s tradition that a charm cake is served at the end of the meal.  Silver charms with symbolic meanings are attached to satin ribbons and placed between the layers of the cake or under the cake.  Each maid and matron of honor and bridesmaid gets to pull a ribbon and get a charm.  The she is told the symbolic meaning of the charms.  For instance, an airplane charm can mean adventure and an engagement ring can mean that she will be the next to marry.  You can find charms at wedding favor websites or specialized wedding cake charm sites.  Be sure you give your baker the charms when you order the cake so they can be added when they frost your cake.